My Big Laundry Story

So I was doing some laundry by hand as I am a person who washes my clothes exactly as they say to be washed on the tags because I don't want them to shrink or fade or stretch or whatever other horrid things might happen as a result of incorrect washing. It may be hard to believe, since I am the offspring of a woman who washes everything the exact same no matter how obviously different the articles are, but I know I must take care of my clothes if I want them to last. This is especially true for expensive clothes, which is a good number of mine, because I also believe that you get what you pay for. This has reigned true in my experience.

Anyway, I wash washing a sweater because it was effing cold enough to wear one and I was laying it flat to dry, as per the care instructions. I like to speed up this slow drying process ever so slightly by laying the article between two thick towels and walking on it to squeeze out water and wrinkles at the same time. I had the sweater between towels and as I walked around on it I began getting distracted by my thoughts as always. I inadvertently began to stomp my feet to squeeze more water out quickly because some idea had compelled me to want to be elsewhere, but when I realised I was stomping my feet I paid attention to that and stomped even harder.

Well, things got carried away and pretty soon I was hopping on the sweater; then it got even worse and I was seeing how high I could jump. I was jumping higher than I expected. So there I was, looking like a lunatic as I jumped around on a wet towel in my bathroom by myself without even some music to justify what I was doing. Unfortunately, this story is sort of anticlimactic because nobody walked in on that, but I did get a huge headache after I stopped jumping, from rattling my brain, I suppose. Either way, it was still awesome and I thought it might give you some wonderful and ridiculous images to make you smile. I'm only here to brighten your day.