Mist...ing

I'm kind of realising I don't put as much effort into my blog as I used to, and I'm OK with it. It used to really bother me when I had breaks from blogging flow and it still does to an extent, but I know that it only happens because I am living life outside of the internet and if that creates conflict then what should I worry about? I don't want to feel like I have to apologise for my real life, so I won't. That's not to say I'm giving up on my blog because I most certainly am not. I'm just coming to terms with my personal inconsistencies, both inside this hopeful blog and out there in the world of palpability.

Although, I do wish I had more thoughtful blogs when I do write them. There was one blog I really wanted to write and I even made mental notes, that is in plural, about it, but I have since forgotten. My most favourite posts are more often than not the ones in which I contemplate abstract ideas and usually wander off into the Nowhere land of my head. This actually happens a lot, usually a few times a day at least, but only now and then do I consider such thoughts as blogs. Somebody once told me that if he thought as hard and often as I did his head would probably explode, and I really didn't know what to make of this. I hadn't even realised what I might look like when I think. I sort of assumed it was an airhead-like look, because my mom says I am in La-La Land, but I guess not. And I do think hard quite a lot. It's this silly imagination of mine, so vivid and elaborate. I don't really have it on a leash.

This is partially why it's so easy for me not to do things. It's not that I forget to do them, or am avoiding doing them, I just get lost in my head and then when someone asks me what I'm doing, I don't really have an answer so it seems like I'm procrastinating or being rude or spacing out. I'm not doing any of those things. I'm just thinking.

I can stop thinking, if you'd prefer.

...Actually I don't think I could.

Thinking is my secondary life force.