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13 November 2009

Some Day

What if I'm not really here? What if I'm just a brain, or just an idea, or just a figment of my own imagination, and once I die, it really means that my imagination has chosen to, or is unable to, continue creating new images, so I die and end up in the blackness that is death? But then, isn't death a part of life, and therefore it is also part of my imagination? I suppose if that's the case, I can't ever really die, more just like start imagining in a way my current imagination can't comprehend. Perhaps I'm really just a schizophrenic who is living in my delusions in a totally different world, and I'm so convinced that I'm right that the world I'm really in, if I were to believe in it in my delusional world, would make me seem delusional. Since I don't want my delusions to think I'm delusional, I deny the real world I'm in, and then the people in that world think I'm totally off my rocker. Or perhaps I'm from a world where all of the people, except a select few who are sort of like higher beings or something, are delusional and they watch over us, feeding and maintaining our physical selves and allow us to dwell within our delusions uninterrupted. Perhaps it is being delusional that is the norm, and not to be makes you different. Of course, it wouldn't make much difference to those who are delusional, because we don't even know about those other ones.
Or maybe I am in this world, the one I believe is really here, but I'm actually in a deep and seemingly hopeless coma that has led me to believe I've kept on living normally. Maybe once I die, it will actually be the day they pull the plug on me, or I just die on my own. Are iPods and tiny cell phones and GPSs really around in the waking world? Maybe I'm actually an outstanding inventor who will come to and know of all these futuristic devices nobody actually made yet. I'll make millions. Maybe I'm still the little girl I was years ago and I've just gone into this coma somehow and will wake up soon, with all these images of my future self that may or may not come true. Maybe I'm just having a crazy long dream, and I might not even remember it when I wake up. You never really know, I suppose. We'll find out how it all goes down one day.

5 comments:

full_of_puppy_love said...

you know callie, just when it seems like you have joined the rest of us here on planet sanity, you hop right back up on that crazy train.

Callie said...

yep!
the train, it beckons, and who am i to turn it away?

full_of_puppy_love said...

so youre like a hobo. riding the rails of the crazy train

Callie said...

i suppose so. it's cheaper that way.

Anonymous said...

so like judging from the content that my offspring produce im wondering if maybe i gave birth to a bunch of manic depressives..like come on does anyone see the light at the end of the tunnel..Lord have mercy!!!!